Charles de Montesquieu

Hi could you please read through the comments and rewrite the article accordingly?

In your own work this week, I see how what you submitted qualifies as “non-fiction,” but not so much how it qualifies as “creative.” Where is your own unique personal touch on this essay, which reads like an assignment for a philosophy class or a history class rather than a creative writing class. There is room for you to add your own personal feelings about Montesquieu and why he’s made such an impact on your life. How about adding some five-senses details? At times, the diction does not feel very natural, for example in lines like “Moreover, this writing tries to look deeply into Montesquieu’s life, and he works its totality.” Did you mean “This essay will look deeply at Montesquieu’s life and his works in their totality”? I wasn’t sure what this sentence meant: ‘With this, the laws of a country can then help address the most demanding areas harnessing tolerance of conflicting cultures.” or this one: “By going through the tabula rasa, which started in the times of John Law that maybe, Montesquieu borrows the idea that “there is no human nature and that humans can get trained to be cooperative.” Why use the verb “mourn” in “To sum up, Charles de Montesquieu’s contribution to sociology and its development would be a legendary feat as mourned by his friend Lord Chesterfield…” If Chesterfield is paying tribute to his friend, then why would he “mourn” about his achievements instead of “praise” him. I wonder if these writing errors are popping up because this essay is more of an academic essay than a personal, creative one that’s written from the heart. If you choose to rewrite it, think about including less of Montesquieu’s biography and a summary of his ideas, which anyone could write, and more of who you are and why these things have made such an impact on your life.

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