Argumentative essay

The most important thing is that you fully use your analytical skills in using the appropriate rhetorical structure.
I will be looking to see how well you appeal to your audience and how well you stress the logical and emotional aspects of your association with the person/place. Also, I will be looking for the use of opening and concluding strategies.
The style will be formal, and I want to see how well you can utilize the standards of American Edited English.
I will be looking to see how well you incorporate cause and effect, comparison, or argumentation into your essay.
I will focus on the quality of your introduction.
I am not looking for grammatical perfection, but the essay must be readable and free of mechanical errors that distract your reader.

Attached is an essay that needs to be rewritten into the right style and edited to make it better

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