English paper revision/rewriting

Writing Situation: Your older brother has recommended you read Henry James, so, reluctantly, you read Daisy Miller. With that under your belt, you write your brother a letter explaining what you think.

Task: Revise any one of your initial responses to the James questions posted in the forum. As a reminder, here they are. Use sources as needed but be sure to identify them! (Responses should be around 250 words in length, so be concise):

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In Henry James’s Daisy Miller, the author explores the behavior of his title character through the eyes of his character Winterbourne. Do you think he is correct in his views of her? Explain your position.
Here is my response that needs revision: Henry James is right about the description of Daisy, who he describes through the eyes of Winterbourne. The author views Daisy as a typical American girl with poor behaviors. James describes a tragedy that engulfed a young American; the lady who rebelled the European conventions. Through Winterbourne’s eyes, Daisy is shown as a lady who lacks concerns about the etiquette rules that have been set by centuries of European civilization and emulated by the American community. Daisy lacks social graces or talent for repartee and is interested in manipulating men and developing a center of attention on her.
The view of Daisy as a poor mannered girl is correct. Daisy’s relationship with Winterbourne shows that she is morally beyond redemption. Through the eyes of Winterbourne, Daisy’s poor behaviors are revealed. Winterbourne tries to save Daisy from her low actions, but all is in vain. In the outer look, Daisy seems more than innocent, but after all, Winterbourne catches her guy late at night at the Coliseum. Daisy does not care about how people like Mrs. Walker and Winterbourne might think about her. Daisy is the type of girl who believes that she can act in any way that she wants.

Through Winterbourne, Daisy portrays an American girl who does not care about anything. While in the company of Winterbourne and Giovanelli, the two men become concerned that Daisy might catch Malaria by staying at the Coliseum late at night. She agrees to leave the place but ignores their concerns. She says to Winterbourne that she does not care whether she catches Malaria or not. Daisy only cares about being free, but not what other people think. She finally dies after catching a dreadful disease.

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