Your assignment for this paper is to identify three interpersonal
relationships in which you have engaged (past or current).

For each relationship, respond to the following items.
1. How did this relationship begin (i.e., discuss the first contact between you and the other person)?
2. Describe how the relationship progressed through each of the stages of interpersonal relationship
development (e.g., experimenting, integrating, bonding, etc.).
3. If the relationship ended, discuss the stages through which you progressed before arriving at
termination.

Interpersonal Relationship Development

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Interpersonal Relationship Development

Introduction

In different contexts, people relate with each other in various ways. These are known as interpersonal relationships. They involve how people get along and know how to relate with each other (Souza, 2020). They can be personal or social, voluntary or involuntary. In this essay, I will describe three of my relationships as I highlight the role of communication in the development or deterioration of relationships, as well as how to maintain an existing relationship (Jones, 2013). The relationships include a past romantic relationship, relationship with a sibling and with a coworker.

Past dating relationship

Some time back, an event was organized by a social group in our college. I attended the event, and a young man initiated a conversation with me, “Hi, what’s your name?” The first stage of interaction was the initiating stage, where the conversation was light. Each person tried to know more about the other and presented themselves in a favourable way to the newly found friend and we exchanged contacts. After this event, phone calls and text messages and much small talk opened up a ground for deeper topics of conversation that may otherwise have remained uncovered. This was evidently the experimental stage of the relationship. Over a few months, the relationship intensified and communication got deeper and more affectionate. We spent endless hours talking. This was the intensifying stage of the relationship.

Communication changed from a self-centered format to a more inclusive format, where each member of the relationship felt part and parcel of the other person’s life. ‘I’ changed to ‘we’. Friends and family would often refer to us as a unit, rather than two independent individuals. The integrating stage of the relationship was the last stage in the formation of the relationship, as it did not get to bonding (Edwards et al., 2017). Initially, the intention had been to diligently work out the relationship to a point where we would hold a public ceremony (wedding), make public vows and ensure that communication would remain positive to see the relationship thrive.

Gradually, the conversation changed and we started reconnecting with our friends individually. There was expression of disinterest in one another’s social activities and future plans. On one particular occasion, one of the parties expressed their interest to spend Sunday afternoon with their friends, which was time we usually spent together. We experienced trial separations, with words like, “I need to take a break”. We often shifted from this differentiation stage to the integrating stage and vice versa. With time, we progressed to the circumscribing stage, where communication seemed passive-aggressive as one party was willing to work out the differences in the relationship while the other was completely disinterested. Communication decreased and petty conflicts would often result in periods of silence surpassing two weeks long. At this stagnation stage, conflicts would feel like the proverbial ‘walking on eggshells’.

Physical meetings and dates significantly reduced, pushing the relationship into the avoiding stage. We would go for months on end without meeting, and we rarely communicated. We clearly had other priorities to attend to. It finally got to the termination stage through a few text messages (Jones, 2013). Though there was room for the possibility for future communication, the message was clear that both of us had had enough of the deteriorating relationship.

Existing family relationship – Sibling

At the initiating stage of our relationship, my younger brother and I got to know each other’s names and simple details through listening to how our parents addressed us. Growing up, our communication involved finding out how each of us viewed the other. We identified one another’s interests through this experimenting stage. The intensifying stage of our relationship was during our teenage. We would long for the school holidays so that we would meet at home and catch up. During the holidays, we would spend almost all our time together, having long chats about our experiences in school and the kind of friends we had made in school. The integrating stage of our relationship, where we are now, involves merging of our interests. We have learnt to communicate with one another openly, discussing issues that concern the wellbeing of our parents and family, and identifying the best ways to resolve our conflicts to maintain a working sibling relationship. Most of our mutual friends cannot refer to one of us without mentioning the other, or even invite one of us to their event, leaving out the other.

This relationship has been a good one for the better part of our time as siblings. We have managed to sustain this through expression, where we talk openly, discuss our relationship and disclose our thoughts to one another. Suppression is also part of our relationship maintenance strategy, where we sometimes avoid direct discussion of feelings and relationship views. Jokes and laughter are the main mode of communication when we indirectly want to communicate our thoughts. Sometimes, we express our emotions to one another through a third party, mainly our parents (Canary & Dainton, 2014). This indirect communication is only applicable for us when it is more likely to be beneficial to the success of the relationship than direct expression.

Existing work relationship – Colleague

When I joined my current workplace, I was completely inexperienced and in need of proper orientation to the job. One friendly lady welcomed me by initiating a conversation with me. She was interested in knowing my name and knowing where I was working before, as well as where I resided. Our friendship progressed to the experimenting stage through small talk, where we took turns to share about our learning experiences in school, hobbies and interests, as well as a few personal details. The relationship intensified as we started sharing deeper information about ourselves and our personal relations, inviting one another to non-work activities and attending events together. This intensifying stage has been in existence for some time, and the progress of the relationship does not seem to be forward-moving, but rather deteriorating. The kind of communication we have seems to be moving towards a differentiating stage, as we have identified that we have differing personal values and have both developed other closer relations at the workplace. Communication has shifted from being inclusive to a more general light conversation, basically on work-related matters.

However, we have still maintained a healthy workplace relationship. We have managed to maintain a good relationship through open and effective communication, frequent interaction through verbal and written communication, avoiding bringing up personal issues in professional tasks, attending personal events such as birthdays, ensuring that we work as a team and assisting one another where need be, being flexible and avoiding unnecessary conflict and pettiness by compromising and adjusting where necessary (Juneja, 2020).

Conclusion

Communication plays a big role in the progress or lack of progress of a relationship. What individuals say to one another can indicate the stage of the relationship and its potential to grow or deteriorate. In maintaining relationships, selflessness, the ability to compromise, reciprocation of good deeds and good intentions and the willingness to disclose one’s thoughts to the other person are of utmost importance.

References

Canary, D. J. & Dainton, M. (2014). Maintaining relationships through communication.    Relational, Contextual, and Cultural Variations, p. 7.

Edwards, A., Edwards, C., Wahl, S. T., & Myers, S. A. (2017). The communication age.  Connecting & engaging, Vol 2, 159-161.

Jones, R. G. (2013). Communication in the real world: An Introduction to Communication            Studies, 299-304

Juneja, P. (2020). Management study guide. How to Improve Interpersonal Relationship at            Workplace.https://www.managementstudyguide.com/interpersonal-relationship-at-            workplace.htm

Souza, N. (2020). Hotmart blog. How to Develop Your Interpersonal Relationship in 10 Steps.            https://blog.hotmart.com/en/interpersonal-relationship/